How to Use Your Journal to Create Self-compassion

Keeping a daily journal to process the difficult events of your day through a lens of self-compassion, helps reduce stress, develops self-awareness, and stimulates insights about how you treat, think, and feel about yourself.

What is self-compassion? “The art, skill, and practice of treating yourself with kind consideration, accepting your shortcomings and mistakes without self-criticism, and witnessing your human suffering with an open, caring heart.” Nancy Andres

When you make journal writing a daily self-care habit, just like brushing your teeth and wearing clean clothes, it can lift a gloomy mood,  bring personal growth, and refresh your spirit. You don't need to write a blow by blow description of every event of the day. Take five or ten minutes to jot down a brief description of what were the high points and troublesome moments of your day. 

Here's Journal Goals to Aim For and Tips to Help You Move Forward 

Journal writing can help you be more patient and honest with yourself. It sheds light on those emotions that come into play, when you have a knee jerk reaction, as well as times when you've felt less than. You know, those times on the job or with relatives or friends, when you compare your insides and your situation to other people’s outsides. 

I've discovered that each time I repeat this old, ineffective pattern, I'm setting myself up for self-esteem disaster. Ask yourself whether you agree or disagree and why. Read-4-Powerful-Reasons-Why-Journal-Writing-is-Good-for-the-Soul.

Your journal can become a dedicated place to improve your relationship with yourself. Revealing your true feelings about who you think or feel you are, what you want, and your concerns, requires trust in the self-exploration process. If you're nervous about this, my suggestion is to "act as if you do trust the process." 

"Spelling out your dreams and vision for the future, as well as goals, wishes, and wants reinforces whatever you write down. Make your words about yourself caring, kind, gentle, positive, peaceful, loving, and healing and you are affirming and accentuating your determination, motivation, and endurance to be there for yourself. This is true self-compassion." Nancy Andres

For any challenging event, emotionally wrought experience, or area of distress you experience during the week, try to recall and write down exactly how you felt. Getting this stuff out of your mind, body, and spirit can help you put some distance from the situation and look at it in a new light.

Use space in your journal to record any change or forward movement you've made since the last time you experienced something similar. If you don't notice any forward motion, assure yourself you're doing the best you can. That's a perfect example of self-compassion. 

It helps to identify and connect with your humanness and vulnerabilities. Get in touch with your motive or motives for acting the way you did, and you'll see it's your responsibility to care for yourself and get those needs meet in a healthy way. 

For me, most often I act impulsively when I have a desire to be liked, accepted, considered, valued, and praised. Those are all things I need to give myself. Journal writing is a simple way to figure this out. 

When you've tried everything I've suggested and still feel stuck, you have an opportunity to reach out to and get help from emotionally mature, available people in your life. Pick someone who's a good listener and will help you sort things through. 

Then, write down every kind thing you can remember about the incident. One example is to thank yourself for not shouting at the other person or calling them names. If you've overstepped a boundary and did react badly instead of responding appropriately, think about a way to make an amend to that person. Do it as soon as you can, to clean up your side of the street! Self-care-Activities-to-Encourage-Optimal-Health.

Next, try to notice if something about the situation triggered an event or experience from the past. One way to check whether this is happening is to identify whether you feel extremely vulnerable and immature, like a duck out of water. See 5-steps-for-managing-your-emotional-triggers for more help. 

Another way to identify feelings from the past, is to evaluate if emotions are intense. When your emotions get hot and heavy, it usually means what happened in the present reminds your subconscious that in the past something bad or hurtful happened to you. It  "sets off" or "triggers" old or frightening recollections, and you feel panic and out of kilter.

I know from past experience that when someone is unkind or rude and I'm hungry, lonely, tired, and off-center, it’s a challenge to brush it off or express my displeasure in a kind, direct way. I usually get tongue tied and regress to old behaviors of silently blaming, judging, and criticizing others instead of saying how I want and need to be treated. Straying from this path of self-care and self-expression makes me feel creepy. Can you relate? If you keep on repeating the same ineffective coping skills or patterns, give yourself permission to consider seeking professional help.

Journal writing gives me the ability to own uncomfortable residual feelings on paper, whenever I still feel bad about an interpersonal or personal issue. I reflect and determine if I am judging myself too harshly, or holding on to guilt, shame, anger, sadness, or hurt. I make it a point to care and comfort myself like I would do for a child. That means I shower myself with love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Read 6-ways-to-shower-yourself-with-kindness for more tips.

It's important to observe the stories you write about yourself and others and what issues you struggle with. When you love and have compassion for yourself, it can transform your life, one event, day, and experience at a time.

"Genuine self-concern is the foundation for extending kindness and compassion towards all other people. Be gentle with yourself today, affirm your goodness, and your relationship with yourself and others will improve. Journal about things you’re grateful for and even the smallest improvements you've made. It's sure to help you feel increased self-compassion each day of your life." Nancy Andres

For many additional tips and guided journal activities that help you create greater self-compassion order Colors of Joy: A Woman's Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss. It makes a colorful gift to give yourself. Colors of Joy is also a delightful way for you to show a loved one you are thinking of them. If you prefer, Purchase it at Amazon Books.

The quote for today follows:

“Be kind to yourself. Remember that when you abuse yourself, you will experience the anger, regret, and apathy of the bully as well as the depression, anxiety, and insecurity of the victim. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself.” ― Vironika Tugaleva

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Remember to practice self-compassion for as long as it takes this attitude and behavior to become a habit. And then keep on practicing. Thanks for visiting and please come back again.

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4 Powerful Reasons Journal Writing Is Good for the Soul

         4 Powerful Reasons Journal Writing is Good for the Soul 

I’ve used journal writing for self-care for more than fifty years. During each stage of life, journal writing has helped me identify and accept troubling emotions and thoughts and gradually convert them into positive ones. I found that by spilling my anger, hurt, sadness, worry, amazement, shock, grief, or confusion out on to the page, my attachment or tendency to “rethink” a particular issue lessened and I felt relieved.

In the past, writing in a journal has enabled me to look at the stories I tell myself to determine if I’m interpreting things realistically or letting my emotions take off on a roller coaster ride. As I hold pen in hand and scribble away, I feel the synergy of mind, soul/spirit, and body and this grounds me in the moment. 

In situations that involve other people, my journal acts like an intermediary, a designated place to take a “time out” to vent anger, hurt feelings, and fear. This step allows me to cool down hot emotions. If I later think it's necessary to communicate to others about my feelings, I'm able to do it in a kind, direct, and authentic way. I’ve come to believe soul’s plan is to help me encounter and love myself wholeheartedly. My soul writing helps me grow-up my attitudes and behaviors in relationships with myself, my family, friends, work relationships, and even with people I casually relate to from time to time.

Quiet time spent like this has helped me connect with higher purpose, my soul’s purpose. Soul guides me back to my core, a place of gentle trust and love. 

See a definition of soul here from Merriam-Webster.com

Soul is a noun \ˈsōl\

1: the spiritual part of a person that is believed to give life to the body and in many religions is believed to live forever

2: a person's deeply felt moral and emotional nature

3: the ability of a person to feel kindness and sympathy for others, to appreciate beauty and art, etc.

My belief about soul has evolved over the years, yet one constant is that journal writing has been a direct pathway between mind, body, and spirit. I don't always know what will be revealed through writing, yet this reflective time taps into the “self-empowerment potential” and blessings of connecting with higher wisdom.

One of my life goals is to become the “best me” that I can be. If that is something you care about, read on. Here are 4 reasons soul journaling can help you.

1. Our soul wants the very best for us and others. It awakens our senses and helps us find ways to be more compassionate, empathetic, and generous.  Soul work through journal writing can improve our relationships with friends, family, and ourselves. It can also help us leave or detach from relationships that are unhealthy for us.

2. Soul writing allows us to take a break from the hectic pace of keeping up with modern technology and the material world. Even if you have to get up a few minutes earlier than everyone else in your home, you deserve to reserve space where there is no noise pollution or distractions. If you're anything like I am, it's important to remember not to listen to thoughts that tell you "you should do something else" or "be somewhere else." Take time to nurture yourself in this way. Journaling allows us to check in with ourselves. Often, it helps us shift gears enough that we can find peace and serenity in the process. Then, we can face the world refreshed and renewed.

3. Whenever we're in-touch with negative thoughts, judgments, shame, and even resentments that we harbor about ourselves and others, a journal is a good place to leave them. When I look at what I’m writing, I can catch those times when I’m blaming others for something I need to accept responsibility for. When I fess up and laugh at what I’m doing, my soul unburdens me of guilt, self-judgment, and I readily accept responsibility for myself. I’ve also learned that just because I feel momentary panic about an event in the future or fear confronting another person, I don’t have to act or change the situation immediately. My soul journal is there to help me see the light.

4. Journaling for the soul can unblock stale energy. It allows us to be a witness to things we're stewing over, but can’t control. Whenever I feel I'm not right with myself, journal writing can be used as a form of meditation. Awareness is often all that I need to let go of obsession about other people, places, and things. Observing my mind like this, helps me remember to mind my own business and leave the rest. What about you? Have you tried journal writing as a self-help tool?

Here’s what great writers, thinkers, philosophers and wise sages say about the Soul. It's from Oprah on Super Soul Sunday.

 Video Super Soul Sunday

A definition of Soul that resonates most with me is Marianne Williamson’s belief about the soul. “The soul is the truth of who we are: the light, the love, the truth of us.”

Journal writing can help you too. It’s a way to check in with your feelings, thoughts, and perceptions. It’s a safe place to vent your anger, sadness, joy, secret longings, as well as record successes and triumphs.

Journal writing has helped me access the innate power I have inside myself to heal emotional suffering. I’ve found that writing about my unresolved hurts, fear, and pain experienced in my mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional body, I'm able to process the stress factor in them. This relaxes me and usually lessens physical symptoms like headache, backache, stomach ache and tension.

When I lack faith, feel overwhelmed, or realize I'm bent out of shape, journal writing often calms me down. Those are the times I address my journal entry to my higher power. Being this specific is just what I need to get closer to my soul and let the rest go.

My journal doesn’t try to fix me, change me, or otherwise force me to snap out of whatever I’m feeling, as some people try to do. My journal loves me unconditionally. It's a best friend who listens, honors, and comforts me by letting me express my innermost despair to my greatest joy uninterrupted. 

If you want to take better care of yourself, please check out Colors of Joy: A Woman's Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss. It features 12 weeks' worth of self-development activities and color-coded exercises in an interactive journal format. It's easy and fun to follow. 

Find it on My Website

Find it @ Amazon Books

Do you journal? Has it helped you sort things out? Do you feel a soul connection when you journal? How does that make you feel? Please let me know. I appreciate your input. Have a great day!

This post was updated 10/26/17

The quotation for today is: 

“Writing is the act of discovery.” 

― Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within

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