6 Ways to Shower Yourself With Kindness

6 Ways to Shower Yourself with Kindness

I've been ruminating about "kindness" lately, because someone I care about was rude to me. Although my adult self knew his angry tone and harsh words were all about him, for a few hours, the tender young person inside me took his actions personally. I felt ashamed, even though there was no good evidence to back up my conclusion that his behavior meant I was at fault, guilty, and flawed. To make matters worse, I went as far as to think of how I could retaliate, seek vengeance, and inflict pain on him. 

Writing this blog is my way to look at myself and admit my spirit felt depleted and grieved for the loving kindness he couldn’t give. In hindsight, I know his behavior was a blessing in disguise. It was an opportunity to confront that vulnerable part of me that let myself be disturbed by an outside situation, person, place, or thing and reminded me to shower myself with the loving kindness I sought from outside myself.

Take a peek at this colorful, interactive self-care journal

Knowing what happened to me may come in handy for you, when something triggers you or makes you feel unlovable. Read on to discover the steps I took to recover my equilibrium and love myself unconditionally. Hopefully, these self-help methods will work for you too.

1.    Let go of things that are none of my business. What someone says or thinks about me is beyond my control. This tip helps me refrain from analyzing why I think someone acted a certain way, and puts the focus on me, where it belongs. I've learned that people carry and reveal their hurts in different ways, and this knowledge helps me forgive without knowing more than that. Detaching with love lets me go on with my day unburdened by carrying around resentments, suffering, and things that are beyond my control.

2.    Use "heal not hurt" as a mission statement. This phrase reminds me to pause to rope in my feelings and take to higher ground. I write out my emotions in a journal and reach out to a close friend to express the undercurrents in my emotional sea. When I share about my heartache with someone I trust, it usually releases trapped energy and allows me to go to a loving place.

3.    Take a break to refresh my spirit. If I notice my mind rehashing the situation or wishing things were different, I recite the serenity prayer or meditate. Other ideas may include a soak in a warm Epsom salt bath or a long walk in nature. Both remove toxins from mind and body. 

4.   Love and accept myself just as I am. As soon as I say this mantra and recognize that everything happens for my highest good, I feel more grounded and secure in my self-worth.

5.    Express gratitude for my blessings. This is a key element that helps me accentuate the positive. My “gratefuls” seem to multiply when I count them while disappointments and grudges diminish. My daily gratitude list starts with the blessing of life, love, hope, family, friendship, and goodness and contains even the smallest detail like being grateful I saw a bee in my garden. Being specific and using people’s names and things like my eyesight, dark chocolate, and yoga helps me tap into the abundance in each day.

6.   Treat myself with self-compassion. Unkind words, especially those I think or say about myself, creates stress and turmoil within me. If my inner critic prevents me from coming up with a gentle way to deal with myself, I ask “What would my best friend say or do to comfort me?” Then, I apply it to me. Another tip is to remember that self-esteem is built on and strengthened by self-acceptance, caring, and respectful treatment of oneself.

Once I've taken time to shower myself with kindness, I notice the ripple effect that self care has on other areas of my life. My thinking is clearer, my creative juices flow, and relating to my work and people is invigorating instead of draining. 

Self-help techniques often bring insights later on about what is really going on inside oneself. Do you use any of them or are you willing to try a few on for size? What methods help you remember to be kind to yourself? Please comment below.  

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The quotation for today is: “Champion yourself and all else follows.” Nancy Andres

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Value Your Work, Value Yourself

The past three days leading up to Labor Day has been an opportunity for me to reflect about the importance of “work” in my life and how purposeful activity has bettered me. Perhaps you know that in addition to my being a Wellness Blogger, I am a Health & Lifestyle Writer, Author of Colors of Joy: A Woman’s Guide for Self-Discovery, Balance, and Bliss, and Independent Publisher at Align Publishing LLC.

Many years of toil, persistence, and patience with myself and my learning curve has taught me much. I have a strong work ethic and do my utmost to create interesting content that features ideas and tips to enhance the quality of your life. I’m enthusiastic about the topics I choose to share with you. The writing process makes me happy, and today I savor my process as much as I do the bounty of my efforts.

  

I’m grateful I continue to feel excited about learning new things. My next project is to increase my technological ability in order to expand my audience and touch more people with my words. My goal is to be of service to others and stimulate thinking about health issues, wellness topics, food and recipe information, travel gems, book recommendations, writing tips, environmental issues, and relationship and self-care skills.

On this Labor Day, I pause to honor all workers who live in our great nation. I encourage you to do your best every day, whether you are an entrepreneur or work for someone else. Be conscientious and go that extra mile whenever you can. Take my word for it. It's worth it. You're sure to gain proficiency, have more self-confidence, feel gratification for the effort you put in, and even may be noticed and promoted. 

If you don't feel good about your current occupation, or feel under-appreciated or under-paid, recognize it as a sign that your self-esteem is lagging, you need to speak up for yourself, and/or it’s time to move on. Before you take this step, it’s best to have another job lined up. If you want to shift gears, and need additional schooling to prepare, have the courage to go for it. 

Another good way to investigate a new career is to speak with those who already do this job.  Why not volunteer in a field that you are considering and see whether it is a good match for you? At the very least, you'll find out what skills are required in that position, meet contacts, and learn what leadership qualities make people in this role stand out in a competitive market.

Be daring! Let your unique talents and gifts shine. Cultivate them on your career path and your spirit will dance. Everyone has something that is special about themselves. I believe our life purpose is to discover what that means for us. 

On Labor Day I especially want to salute all those who are raising or have raised children. Your job is extremely valuable and challenging , and many of you also maintain your household, serve in the military, and/or are our bus drivers, police, waiters, teachers, technicians, shop owners, and the countless others who are part of the work force. Whatever your job may be, do it well! Kids learn from our guidance and the example we set.

What do you value about your work? What challenges and growth has occurred as a result? What self-care techniques help you function well on the job and in your down time? Please comment below. Then share the love on social media. I'd love for you to become a Google+ follower. That way you'll get an update automatically (about twice a month), when I post. 

The quotation for today follows:

"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence." -- Martin Luther King Jr

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