Create a Conversational Bridge, Harmony

Post Election Ideas from Nan and Guest Blogger Loren Ekroth.

Nan writes:
For me, post election time is a great time to affirm that to increase peace and even joy in my life, I need to take actions that help me move closer to my best self and others rather than look for ways to separate or cause disharmony. 

I work toward this goal by pausing before communicating with others to ask myself: What is my motive and am I being direct, honest, and kind in expressing my thought? Do I think it will make me happy, make me right, or fill my ego by getting the last word in or one-upping someone else? Try out the suggestions below to find common ground with your neighbor, family member, business associate, or newly elected or re-elected politician. Shine in the glow of equanimity.

Make conversations more productive, spacious and free. Practice the art of good listening, practice compromise or at least agree to disagree respectfully and civilly. What motivates your communication? Do you strive to really "hear" another person? What benefits has that brought to your relationships? Please leave a comment by clicking on the white envelope below this post to share those techniques that work for you.

Loren Ekroth, publisher of Better Conversations Newsletter “Raising the Standard of Conversation in Life,” is my special Guest today.

Loren writes:
I delayed publishing this week's Talking Pointer by one day, because many were preoccupied with the election (dated 11/7/12).

Pointer: You Don't Have to Disagree. Instead, You Can Understand

You can disagree and say so. Or you can choose to understand. That's your choice.

Dr. Alan Weiss suggests: "Don't feel constrained to tell someone when you disagree with a position. You're an adult. Someone else's opinion which has no bearing on you needn't be responded to in an eternal game of 'gotcha.'"

Instead, try understanding. Say "Help me understand your position. I'll listen carefully."

The late Steven Covey wisely counseled, "Seek first to understand." Good counsel, indeed, but not often put to use. Seeking understanding is about the conversers being emotionally mature and not easily prone to argue.

Here are two obstacles to civil discourse:

1. Many folks are closely identified with certain positions and candidates and become upset when others hold alternative or opposing positions. They ARE their positions. (A different way of thinking is to recognize that while you may hold certain positions, you are not your positions.)

2. Some people use another's beliefs or positions as a "litmus test" for friendship: Like "birds of a feather," they want to spend their time with those who share the same beliefs and preferences, and they become uncomfortable around people of a different persuasion. As a result, they gain very little experience trying to understand people with different points of view.

Unfortunately, rancorous disputes among friends and relatives are rather common during heated political seasons. Family members stop talking to one another. Work and business relationships are fractured. Even couples become estranged. (I have a longtime friend and a cousin who have "unfriended" me because I hold positions different from theirs.)

One more thing: If your candidates have won, don't gloat. If your candidates lost, don't whine and blame. Get over it. Then seek to heal any rifts.

Permission to reprint the proceeding from the “Better Conversations” Newsletter has been granted by Dr. Loren Ekroth,Ph.D., a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation skills for business and social life. Subscribe to "Better Conversations" newsletters at www.conversationmatters.com

The quote for today:

"We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." - Epictetus

Discovering Artist Barbara Rogers

This past weekend I had an opportunity to visit the Tucson Museum of Art, ostensibly to see an exhibit, Henri Matisse. The works were interesting, but for me the real excitement of the day occurred when I discovered the wonderfully colorful creations of an artist who is new to me. Barbara Rogers: The Imperative of Beauty, A Fifty-Year Retrospective 10/06/2012 - 01/13/2013 is a visual feast for the soul. The retrospective encompasses early pieces from her Berkeley days, those she did while in Hawaii, and later works too. Check it out yourself and take a chance on a raffle for an original piece of art.

For those who can't read the caption under the canvas that is going to be the prize-it is titled Games, Barbara Rogers, oil on canvas 36 x 48. Permission to use the photo by Tucson Museum of Art (BW).

Tickets can be purchased at the Museum Store or by calling 520-624-2333 ext. 111. The drawing will be on November 8 at 7:30 pm after the Barbara Rogers’ lecture and book signing event in the Museum Lobby.
Proceeds benefit the Tucson Museum of Art.
Learn more about this fabulous exhibit at the Website below.

www.tucsonmuseumofart.org

Today's quote- "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." So many are credited for saying this, that your guess is as good as mine!

Have any of you come across a new talent recently? Please let me know by commenting on this blog by clicking on the white envelope.
Thanks. And have a visually magnificent day.

Joy at the beach, celebrate the moment

This picture conveys it all. Have a joyful day and wonderful Labor Day weekend. Happy September 1st.

Here is the quote for today from Thich Nhat Hanh:

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

Do you find that this concept resonates with you? Please let me know.

In Peace and Health, Nan





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Eerie Sky and Humility, Mother Nature and My Nature

Eerie sky. Monsoon threatens. Earlier today, while briskly walking outdoors, I pondered the power and changeability inherent in nature. Then, I was reminded that coping with mother nature is a metaphor for how I might improve my relationships to those things I can't control.

I am at choice today to get bent out of shape when a storm washes away my plan to have a picnic, my computer breaks down, someone is late for an appointment, or other people, situations, or circumstances don't act the way I think they should.

I can get angry, feel resentful, or take things personally. However, for today, I skip down the higher road. This choice allows me to opt for peace, equanimity, and well-being.

Dear reader-when you are at a crossroads and are perplexed about whether to choose conflict or peace-what guides you to walk on the higher path? Please comment (by clicking on the white envelope under this post) and explain what helps you to put things into perspective. Does being in nature nurture you and replenish your spirit? If so, does it help you tread more lightly when dealing with yourself and others?

 Hope you make the best of your day, whether the sunshine springs out from behind the clouds or it rains so hard it reaches the top of the reservoir.

The quote for today:  "Nature is so powerful, so strong. Capturing its essence is not easy-your work becomes a dance with light and the weather. It takes you to a place within yourself." Annie Leibovitz, photographer

In Peace & Health, Nan

Fwd: guest blog from Michaele Lockhart

Date: Thu, Jun 28, 2012 at 2:52 PM

Subject: guest blog from Michaele Lockhart

Thanks for inviting me to comment, Nan.

Your definitions of web sites vs. blogs were thought-provoking. They were good general guidelines, but often the distinction is not that clear-cut.

A web site is a first meeting, a first impression, and that encounter where we decide: "Do I want to get to know this person better?" A blog is the actual invitation to step inside, sit down, and share in a conversation. It's definitely more intimate.

A web site usually has a purpose, but sometimes graphics and trailers are so convoluted that a casual visitor might have trouble figuring out what the purpose is. The web visitor spends an average of three seconds making up her mind if she is going to stay. A precious three seconds—maybe wasted? Marketing can or may be a part of the overall site.

Here's where the distinctions get fuzzy. A good web site is designed for information sharing, but so is a blog. Are the type font and size easily read? Is the layout calming or distracting? The site or blog should contain contact information. Where can you be reached for an interview? What is your expertise? Why should we move along to your blog (if you have one)? Of course, if you're an author you'll probably be promoting your books.

Who can forget the charming movie Julie and Julia? Julie starts writing a blog about cooking and her self-challenge to create everything in Julia Child's cookbook within a year! What drew her readers in was the blog's central theme. We don't know what happened afterwards, because theoretically there would be no forward momentum.

For those who write personal blogs, ask yourself "Does my blog contain momentum?" This will ultimately help attract readers. Is there a "call to action?" No, you don't need to do anything drastic or start a revolution somewhere. In the personal journal-blog, your "call to action" will be teasers and an invitation to your readers to reflect and respond about issues that you've addressed.